The Adventures of The Armenian Male: A Fairy Tale

Shamiram · Guest

*It is my belief that during the last ten years an entire generation of young armenian males has undergone a dramatic evolution/modernization. The girls of marriageable age have yet to notice this and still treat the armenian male as the brute he once was. Gentlemen who fit this description, your efforts have not gone unnoticed: this one's for you*

Once upon a time, in a strange new land called the United States there lived a strange creature called the Armenian Male. He was so strange that noone knew what to make of him. The strange creature baffled even the most learned of scientists. Some said he was a cave-man, devoid of all traits of evolution. Some claimed he was a new, unstudied species. Others insisted he was an ancient and noble warrior, resurrected from times of antiquity. Yet others said he was the great protector who would save them from the natives of the new, strange land. There were even those who wanted the strange creature called the Armenian male for their pet, saying he was lovable, affectionate, and obedient when trained. But no one could agree as to what was to be done with the Armenian Male.

All this made the strange creature called the Armenian Male very unhappy. He roamed the new, strange land called the United States, looking for some semblance of the familiar, someone or something that looked like him, that was like him, that understood him, that liked him and loved him.... someone that needed him. He didn't understand why he didn't fit in. So what if he insisted on the impossible? So what if he demanded perfection? So what if he couldn't provide it himself? Surely, all of that wasn't all that important. What mattered more was that he had love he couldn't give, affection he couldn't express, honor he couldn't remember, loyalty he couldn't locate. He had these in his heart. "That's all that should matter," thought the lost, wandering soul of an Armenian Male. And he kept on wandering the new strange land.

One day, the strange creature called the Armenian Male met the Evil Non-Armenian Male. The Evil Non-Armenian Male was known throughout the land as the oppressor and jailor of the Armenian Male. The Evil Non-Armenian Male was cultured, well-mannered, honorable, loving, affectionate, and loyal. What's more, the Evil Non-Armenian Male expressed and acted on all of these traits. The Armenian Male didn't understand his Evil Non-Armenian counterpart. They fought a great battle lasting 100 years for the love of the Armenian Female, who was all things noble, chaste, and pure. During the 100 years of the great battle, the Armenian Male and the Evil Non-Armenian male lived, loved, laughed, and learned side by side, despite the great animosity between them.

A hundred years had passed. One day, the strange creature called the Armenian Male realized that the scientists had left; he wasn't strange anymore. In fact, he had become very similar to the Evil Non-Armenian male. He could now talk about his thoughts and feelings. He could express affection. He knew how to act in every situation. He wasn't ashamed to love and to be loyal. The Armenian Male didn't win the great battle lasting 100 years, but he won back the love of the Armenian Female and that was the greatest victory of all. All of the people of the land rejoiced and everyone lived happily ever after. The end.

V8 perturbed · Guest

So are we barely in year 10 of this nascent New Armenian male's evolution? *sigh*

Shamiram · Guest

v8 · Guest

Shamiram · Guest

V8 perturbed · Guest

Shamiram · Guest

V8 in the shallows · Guest

Shamiram · Guest

^^ It's got to start somewhere: if Dad worships some rich fool regularly scheduled to give "get-rich-quick" presentations, Son might be more inclined to learn investment banking in college. You with me? Yes, they will initially choose the wrong role models, but I think that's the "start-up" cost of evolution.

Guest · Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008

I was thinking of the get rich quick by demeaning and pimping girls type, but you're right. I agree with that leap. American history is full of stories of the upstart immigrant parents or at least, parents with ambitions to climb the social ladder, whos offsprings eventually succeeded.
More importantly though, as you said, the dynamic between men & women is a more important and necessary accomplishment.

Shamiram · Guest