I miss Yerevan. Not the Yerevan of nostalgic postcards and home-sick videos, but my Yerevan.
I miss the Yerevan of my childhood. I miss the crispness of the first snow of the season, the crunch of the fall leaves underfoot, my red wool coat and the crocheted dark green beret that made me look so "grown up". I miss being forever safe when my cousin walked me home from school. I miss walking with him. I miss talking to him. I miss him.
I miss my grandmother's copies of French Vogue and her dress-making and her cookies shaped like the moon. I miss the mulberry tree and the white grapes from her backyard. I miss the smell of the yasaman tree and the colors of her rose garden.
I miss the shaded pergola by our building. I miss watching my father play chess. I miss watching him win. I miss waiting for the click of my mother's high heels to walk through the door. I miss how timeless my mother looked in white linen and pearls. I miss the frost on my bedroom window and the tall tree right in front of it . I miss the smell of the summer rain when I escaped for long walks down Komitas and back up through all the connecting streets.
I miss being backstage at the theater with my once-actor grandfather's actor friends. I miss the hectic sounds of rehearsal and the flashy sight of stage costumes, forever in motion. And I miss running my hands down the cold marble in the government buildings with my other grandfather. And I miss the smell of paper in his office and the way he pretended he wasn't important. I miss hearing my grandparents sing ghusan Ashot and ghusan Sheram's songs at the dinner table.
I miss the taste of the chocolate ice cream at the corner cafe. I miss the narrow rows of books at my favorite library. I miss the texture of freshly baked bread at the bakery. I miss tasting the fruit my father bought at the farmer's market. I miss the man my father was back then. I miss reading my mother's French novels on the antique divan in the sunroom on those scorching summer afternoons.
I miss the stillness, the peace, the comfort, the certainty of belonging. I miss my Yerevan, the Yerevan of my childhood.
DOC Supreme Member
Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Posts: 992 Location: US of A
Posted Mon Aug 11, 2008
I feel you. I was just in Yerevan last month and it did feel a bit nostalgic going back to my roots, but it just didn't feel the same.
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Shamiram Guest
Posted Tue Aug 12, 2008
It didn't feel the same because you're not the same -- what do you know, you grew up! lol
Ehh. In more simple terms easily understood by the more movie-watching type of audience on this forum, it's like when Scarlet O'Hara wants to go home to Tara (family estate)amid the destruction of the Civil War in Gone With The Wind --because home's where you regroup and heal, home's where you draw your strength. And, sadly, Ifor me, the States will never be "home".
DOC Supreme Member
Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Posts: 992 Location: US of A
Posted Tue Aug 12, 2008
Well that's partially true. Most of the "innocence" that we had in our childhood has been depleted.
I did not miss Armenia that much before I went (Though I lived 10 years there), but now I miss it but most probably because I miss my relatives.
Life is interesting and you never expect things to get attached to your heart so closely.
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Shamiram Guest
Posted Tue Aug 12, 2008
Doc, I would venture to say that seeing your relatives was the trigger, not the source (meaning that seeing them awakened a deeper feeling--whatever Yerevan/Armenia IS for you-because leaving it is losing it--and that's why it shook you that way to leave . Think about it
DOC Supreme Member
Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Posts: 992 Location: US of A
Posted Tue Aug 12, 2008
One of the things that I've felt when I came back was that I became a better person. My childhood was cut short and I had to live a different life when I moved to the U.S. I will say this though, I'm glad that I wasn't born in the U.S. I had the opportunity to live two different lifestyles, albeit the sudden change, but that makes me a much more interesting person than the next man
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Shamiram Guest
Posted Wed Aug 13, 2008
DOC wrote:
One of the things that I've felt when I came back was that I became a better person. My childhood was cut short and I had to live a different life when I moved to the U.S. I will say this though, I'm glad that I wasn't born in the U.S. I had the opportunity to live two different lifestyles, albeit the sudden change, but that makes me a much more interesting person than the next man
Interesting, yes, but also traumatized -- like all immigrants lol
DOC Supreme Member
Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Posts: 992 Location: US of A
Posted Wed Aug 13, 2008
Uh no, that was a bit out of your league. I'm not traumatized, I'm in a good position.
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Shamiram Guest
Posted Wed Aug 13, 2008
DOC wrote:
Uh no, that was a bit out of your league. I'm not traumatized, I'm in a good position.
Trauma is soooo within my league, you have no idea..... lol.... but, the only reality that matters is our own
DOC Supreme Member
Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Posts: 992 Location: US of A
Posted Wed Aug 13, 2008
We've all been through trauma in one shape or form, but yes most people only see through their perspective. Sometimes things are confusing but as humans we tend to overcome those problems, that is if the problematic person is willing to work on his or herself internally.
Oh wait, is this off topic?
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Shamiram Guest
Posted Wed Aug 13, 2008
DOC wrote:
We've all been through trauma in one shape or form, but yes most people only see through their perspective. Sometimes things are confusing but as humans we tend to overcome those problems, that is if the problematic person is willing to work on his or herself internally.
Oh wait, is this off topic?
OKKK..... philosopher jan lol
DOC Supreme Member
Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Posts: 992 Location: US of A
Posted Wed Aug 13, 2008
One of my hobbies is philosophy...
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Shamiram Guest
Posted Thu Aug 14, 2008
^^^ Any favorites?
DOC Supreme Member
Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Posts: 992 Location: US of A
Posted Fri Aug 15, 2008
Yeah,
Plato, Descartes, & Locke. I tend to disagree with some of their views, but their quest to find answers to life is rather intriguing.
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Guest
Posted Sun Aug 17, 2008
does armenia have any hot teens like the one pictured here? or are they all prude and village like
eek Guest
Posted Sun Aug 17, 2008
Anonymous wrote:
does armenia have any hot teens like the one pictured here? or are they all prude and village like
I'm sure that you will find teens that crawl on their hands and knees.
Shamiram Guest
Posted Sun Aug 17, 2008
^^ why does that look like my cousin when she was 14.... hard to tell though; the disorganized wall unit in the background is quite distracting.... lol
Guest
Posted Mon Aug 18, 2008
much hotter chick
qutiiiee3 Supreme Member
Joined: 22 Aug 2008 Posts: 343
Posted Thu Aug 28, 2008
Anonymous wrote:
does armenia have any hot teens like the one pictured here? or are they all prude and village like
they do but less *. we have girls with class unlike this little prostitute
It didn't feel the same because you're not the same -- what do you know, you grew up! lol
. Think about it 
hard to tell though; the disorganized wall unit in the background is quite distracting.... lol
