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V8 guffaws!
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| Posted Mon Aug 18, 2008
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| Shamiram wrote: | | V8 wrote: | The blind badgers may have won for now. I rellish in the thought (fantasy?) that deforestation will soon unleash a pathogen that will decimate the crust cancer that is our species. Yep, I am not a humanist.  Ugh, I am depressing myself. Let me look at some teens. |
Escape/avoidance--the pics, i mean.... not a humanist? i think maybe too much of a humanist....all cynics are by definition disillusioned humanists.... but yes, a sad thought indeed......ehh, you depressed me too - |
ME? I thought YOU depressed me.
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Shamiram
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| Posted Mon Aug 18, 2008
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| V8 guffaws! wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | | V8 wrote: | | The blind badgers may have won for now. I rellish in the thought (fantasy?) that deforestation will soon unleash a pathogen that will decimate the crust cancer that is our species. Yep, I am not a humanist. Ugh, I am depressing myself. Let me look at some teens. |
Escape/avoidance--the pics, i mean.... not a humanist? i think maybe too much of a humanist....all cynics are by definition disillusioned humanists.... but yes, a sad thought indeed......ehh, you depressed me too - |
ME? I thought YOU depressed me. |
Which was first, the chicken or the egg? lol The point is--we depressed each other
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V8 at Tinagra
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| Posted Mon Aug 18, 2008
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| Shamiram wrote: | | V8 guffaws! wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | | V8 wrote: | | The blind badgers may have won for now. I rellish in the thought (fantasy?) that deforestation will soon unleash a pathogen that will decimate the crust cancer that is our species. Yep, I am not a humanist. Ugh, I am depressing myself. Let me look at some teens. |
Escape/avoidance--the pics, i mean.... not a humanist? i think maybe too much of a humanist....all cynics are by definition disillusioned humanists.... but yes, a sad thought indeed......ehh, you depressed me too - |
ME? I thought YOU depressed me. |
Which was first, the chicken or the egg? lol The point is--we depressed each other |
Heh. Probably not a good idea to have me over for that "dinner party" after all.  Eh?
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Shamiram
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| Posted Mon Aug 18, 2008
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| V8 at Tinagra wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | | V8 guffaws! wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | | V8 wrote: | | The blind badgers may have won for now. I rellish in the thought (fantasy?) that deforestation will soon unleash a pathogen that will decimate the crust cancer that is our species. Yep, I am not a humanist. Ugh, I am depressing myself. Let me look at some teens. |
Escape/avoidance--the pics, i mean.... not a humanist? i think maybe too much of a humanist....all cynics are by definition disillusioned humanists.... but yes, a sad thought indeed......ehh, you depressed me too - |
ME? I thought YOU depressed me. |
Which was first, the chicken or the egg? lol The point is--we depressed each other |
Heh. Probably not a good idea to have me over for that "dinner party" after all. Eh? |
All my fantasies are firmly rooted in a not-too-hasty assessment of reality lol; the gentleman seated at the hostess' right remains..... the eternal cynic
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V8 assinorum rex
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| Posted Mon Aug 18, 2008
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| Shamiram wrote: | | V8 at Tinagra wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | | V8 guffaws! wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | | V8 wrote: | | The blind badgers may have won for now. I rellish in the thought (fantasy?) that deforestation will soon unleash a pathogen that will decimate the crust cancer that is our species. Yep, I am not a humanist. Ugh, I am depressing myself. Let me look at some teens. |
Escape/avoidance--the pics, i mean.... not a humanist? i think maybe too much of a humanist....all cynics are by definition disillusioned humanists.... but yes, a sad thought indeed......ehh, you depressed me too - |
ME? I thought YOU depressed me. |
Which was first, the chicken or the egg? lol The point is--we depressed each other |
Heh. Probably not a good idea to have me over for that "dinner party" after all. Eh? |
All my fantasies are firmly rooted in a not-too-hasty assessment of reality lol; the gentleman seated at the hostess' right remains..... the eternal cynic |
The eternal cynic nods in grateful acknowledgment.
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| Posted Tue Aug 19, 2008
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It's cool with me as long as I can be there 
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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In all seriousness parenting has changed because the world has changed,Teens partying on their own was more innocent back in the day but today their are far more stronger drugs and alot more dangerous people n situations not to mention Aids so would I party with my teens? probably to a minimum at home where its safe as long as they go to school and do what they are supposed to not all the time and defenintaly no drugs maybey just a lil liquor or smoke now days u got to be their BF
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Shamiram
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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OK.... I can't resist this urge to blast this thread any longer.
People (and I say that with the most endearing armo accent imaginable to make myself understood better by all reading this thread)....Parents are not supposed to party with their children!!!!! Family structure and boundaries must be maintained throughout the family life cycle. This does not involve drinking, doing drugs, watching porn, (worse yet) engaging in porn, etc with your child!!!!!! It's wrong and creates diffuse family boundaries, which, in turn, leads to some very disturbed children, and even more disturbed and dysfunctional adults. In the name of Zeus, don't create more work for my profession!!!!! Vvvaaayyyy!!!
*end armoness*
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V8
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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| Shamiram wrote: | OK.... I can't resist this urge to blast this thread any longer.
People (and I say that with the most endearing armo accent imaginable to make myself understood better by all reading this thread)....Parents are not supposed to party with their children!!!!! Family structure and boundaries must be maintained throughout the family life cycle. This does not involve drinking, doing drugs, watching porn, (worse yet) engaging in porn, etc with your child!!!!!! It's wrong and creates diffuse family boundaries, which, in turn, leads to some very disturbed children, and even more disturbed and dysfunctional adults. In the name of Zeus, don't create more work for my profession!!!!! Vvvaaayyyy!!! *end armoness* |
Wait, whom and by what measure are these boundaries demarcated?
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Shamiram
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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[quote="V8"] | Shamiram wrote: | OK.... I can't resist this urge to blast this thread any longer.
People (and I say that with the most endearing armo accent imaginable to make myself understood better by all reading this thread)....Parents are not supposed to party with their children!!!!! Family structure and boundaries must be maintained throughout the family life cycle. This does not involve drinking, doing drugs, watching porn, (worse yet) engaging in porn, etc with your child!!!!!! It's wrong and creates diffuse family boundaries, which, in turn, leads to some very disturbed children, and even more disturbed and dysfunctional adults. In the name of Zeus, don't create more work for my profession!!!!! Vvvaaayyyy!!! *end armoness* |
Wait, whom and by what measure are these boundaries demarcated?[/quote
By Dr. Salvador Minuchin of Argentina (as in Minuchin of Structural Family Therapy-not that I expect even someone like you to know this), among others; enormous body of work on family structures, boundaries, roles, etc etc. His classic 1974 text is, well, a classic in the field...
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V8 yields
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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[quote="Shamiram"] | V8 wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | OK.... I can't resist this urge to blast this thread any longer.
People (and I say that with the most endearing armo accent imaginable to make myself understood better by all reading this thread)....Parents are not supposed to party with their children!!!!! Family structure and boundaries must be maintained throughout the family life cycle. This does not involve drinking, doing drugs, watching porn, (worse yet) engaging in porn, etc with your child!!!!!! It's wrong and creates diffuse family boundaries, which, in turn, leads to some very disturbed children, and even more disturbed and dysfunctional adults. In the name of Zeus, don't create more work for my profession!!!!! Vvvaaayyyy!!! *end armoness* |
Wait, whom and by what measure are these boundaries demarcated?[/quote
By Dr. Salvador Minuchin of Argentina (as in Minuchin of Structural Family Therapy-not that I expect even someone like you to know this), among others; enormous body of work on family structures, boundaries, roles, etc etc. His classic 1974 text is, well, a classic in the field... |
I don't agree completely, but I expect that to be seen as my ignorance of the subject.
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Shamiram
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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[quote="V8 yields"] | Shamiram wrote: | | V8 wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | OK.... I can't resist this urge to blast this thread any longer.
People (and I say that with the most endearing armo accent imaginable to make myself understood better by all reading this thread)....Parents are not supposed to party with their children!!!!! Family structure and boundaries must be maintained throughout the family life cycle. This does not involve drinking, doing drugs, watching porn, (worse yet) engaging in porn, etc with your child!!!!!! It's wrong and creates diffuse family boundaries, which, in turn, leads to some very disturbed children, and even more disturbed and dysfunctional adults. In the name of Zeus, don't create more work for my profession!!!!! Vvvaaayyyy!!! *end armoness* |
Wait, whom and by what measure are these boundaries demarcated?[/quote
By Dr. Salvador Minuchin of Argentina (as in Minuchin of Structural Family Therapy-not that I expect even someone like you to know this), among others; enormous body of work on family structures, boundaries, roles, etc etc. His classic 1974 text is, well, a classic in the field... |
I don't agree completely, but I expect that to be seen as my ignorance of the subject. |
No, you have a point. Just as Freud no longer carries the same cache, the families of today are not the families of 1974. A lot is now accepted that once wasn't. But, and this is a strong but.... once you read up on the subject, the role of the parents in the eventual "success/failure" of both individual and family is actually alarming. Basically, I figure better safe than sorry (because the modern parental wisdom of "lemme be your friend" is a 50/50 risk at best).
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Vee 8
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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[quote="Shamiram"] | V8 yields wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | | V8 wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | OK.... I can't resist this urge to blast this thread any longer.
People (and I say that with the most endearing armo accent imaginable to make myself understood better by all reading this thread)....Parents are not supposed to party with their children!!!!! Family structure and boundaries must be maintained throughout the family life cycle. This does not involve drinking, doing drugs, watching porn, (worse yet) engaging in porn, etc with your child!!!!!! It's wrong and creates diffuse family boundaries, which, in turn, leads to some very disturbed children, and even more disturbed and dysfunctional adults. In the name of Zeus, don't create more work for my profession!!!!! Vvvaaayyyy!!! *end armoness* |
Wait, whom and by what measure are these boundaries demarcated?[/quote
By Dr. Salvador Minuchin of Argentina (as in Minuchin of Structural Family Therapy-not that I expect even someone like you to know this), among others; enormous body of work on family structures, boundaries, roles, etc etc. His classic 1974 text is, well, a classic in the field... |
I don't agree completely, but I expect that to be seen as my ignorance of the subject. |
No, you have a point. Just as Freud no longer carries the same cache, the families of today are not the families of 1974. A lot is now accepted that once wasn't. But, and this is a strong but.... once you read up on the subject, the role of the parents in the eventual "success/failure" of both individual and family is actually alarming. Basically, I figure better safe than sorry (because the modern parental wisdom of "lemme be your friend" is a 50/50 risk at best). |
Ideally, the open lines of communication, or lemme be your friend angle has potential but I seriously doubt many of today's parents have the wherewithal and sensible foresight to pull it off.
I was once hanging out with these girls, in their bedroom somewhere in those hills in Malibu or Pacific Palisades, I don't know. Anyway, one of their mom's came in and asked if they wanted something to drink or something and the daughter unleashed this lengthy rant of expletives intersperced with leave me alone and my space. The mother just cowered and left the room. It felt so wrong.
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Shamiram
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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[quote="Vee 8"] | Shamiram wrote: | | V8 yields wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | | V8 wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | OK.... I can't resist this urge to blast this thread any longer.
People (and I say that with the most endearing armo accent imaginable to make myself understood better by all reading this thread)....Parents are not supposed to party with their children!!!!! Family structure and boundaries must be maintained throughout the family life cycle. This does not involve drinking, doing drugs, watching porn, (worse yet) engaging in porn, etc with your child!!!!!! It's wrong and creates diffuse family boundaries, which, in turn, leads to some very disturbed children, and even more disturbed and dysfunctional adults. In the name of Zeus, don't create more work for my profession!!!!! Vvvaaayyyy!!! *end armoness* |
Wait, whom and by what measure are these boundaries demarcated?[/quote
By Dr. Salvador Minuchin of Argentina (as in Minuchin of Structural Family Therapy-not that I expect even someone like you to know this), among others; enormous body of work on family structures, boundaries, roles, etc etc. His classic 1974 text is, well, a classic in the field... |
I don't agree completely, but I expect that to be seen as my ignorance of the subject. |
No, you have a point. Just as Freud no longer carries the same cache, the families of today are not the families of 1974. A lot is now accepted that once wasn't. But, and this is a strong but.... once you read up on the subject, the role of the parents in the eventual "success/failure" of both individual and family is actually alarming. Basically, I figure better safe than sorry (because the modern parental wisdom of "lemme be your friend" is a 50/50 risk at best). |
Ideally, the open lines of communication, or lemme be your friend angle has potential but I seriously doubt many of today's parents have the wherewithal and sensible foresight to pull it off.
I was once hanging out with these girls, in their bedroom somewhere in those hills in Malibu or Pacific Palisades, I don't know. Anyway, one of their mom's came in and asked if they wanted something to drink or something and the daughter unleashed this lengthy rant of expletives intersperced with leave me alone and my space. The mother just cowered and left the room. It felt so wrong. |
Which is exactly why the "lemme be your friend" thing doesn't work; it messes with the power-balance inherent to the parent-child relationship (so argues Minuchin and I tend to agree).... Have you seen Spanglish (underrated film I think)..... anyway, there's a great scene where the little girl says to the mom, "I need some space", which leads to the following scene (see link)... ... I think it's telling of the immigrant dynamic as well as the parent-child dynamic....here it is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3TQUSAHdQ0&feature=related
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v acht
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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Yeah , the let's be friends angle is bunk. What say you of the open lines of communication? I mean real lines of open communication? Can that work?
Oh good, the Spanglish credits came up. My ADD was clamoring for my attention.
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Shamiram
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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| v acht wrote: | Yeah , the let's be friends angle is bunk. What say you of the open lines of communication? I mean real lines of open communication? Can that work?
Oh good, the Spanglish credits came up. My ADD was clamoring for my attention. |
I'm all for open communication, believe me. But it doesn't just happen magically; you can't just sit down with your teen one day and demand that they tell you what they've been up to (which, sadly, is exactly what many parents do). In order true communication to be possible, the kid needs to trust and feel safe. And in order for that to happen, there needs to be proper attachment, which goes back to infancy..etc etc (long story!).... So I guess my point is, real open communication is hard to achieve, but it's gold when you've got it...
(meanie, you didn't even look at the spanglish clip )
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Vee 8
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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| Shamiram wrote: | | v acht wrote: | Yeah , the let's be friends angle is bunk. What say you of the open lines of communication? I mean real lines of open communication? Can that work?
Oh good, the Spanglish credits came up. My ADD was clamoring for my attention. |
I'm all for open communication, believe me. But it doesn't just happen magically; you can't just sit down with your teen one day and demand that they tell you what they've been up to (which, sadly, is exactly what many parents do). In order true communication to be possible, the kid needs to trust and feel safe. And in order for that to happen, there needs to be proper attachment, which goes back to infancy..etc etc (long story!).... So I guess my point is, real open communication is hard to achieve, but it's gold when you've got it...
(meanie, you didn't even look at the spanglish clip ) |
I did, I did! I got distracted by the housekeeper or whatever that chick was supposed to be. I *hmph'd* at the idea of a good looking housekeeper, then the credits.
Also, of course I am a meanie!
I'd suspect real communication is slowly developed starting from when kids learn to speak and tweaked accordingly as your kid's, uhm, self something develops and matures. You probably can't beat them over the head with what they've confided in you either.
My cats don't tell me shot. Stoic little furballs!
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Shamiram
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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| Vee 8 wrote: | | Shamiram wrote: | | v acht wrote: | Yeah , the let's be friends angle is bunk. What say you of the open lines of communication? I mean real lines of open communication? Can that work?
Oh good, the Spanglish credits came up. My ADD was clamoring for my attention. |
I'm all for open communication, believe me. But it doesn't just happen magically; you can't just sit down with your teen one day and demand that they tell you what they've been up to (which, sadly, is exactly what many parents do). In order true communication to be possible, the kid needs to trust and feel safe. And in order for that to happen, there needs to be proper attachment, which goes back to infancy..etc etc (long story!).... So I guess my point is, real open communication is hard to achieve, but it's gold when you've got it...
(meanie, you didn't even look at the spanglish clip ) |
I did, I did! I got distracted by the housekeeper or whatever that chick was supposed to be. I *hmph'd* at the idea of a good looking housekeeper, then the credits.
Also, of course I am a meanie!
I'd suspect real communication is slowly developed starting from when kids learn to speak and tweaked accordingly as your kid's, uhm, self something develops and matures. You probably can't beat them over the head with what they've confided in you either.
My cats don't tell me shot. Stoic little furballs! |
I give up. The cats will always win.
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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this is what will happen to your teen if you let her party
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V8 TARDIS
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| Posted Wed Aug 20, 2008
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| Anonymous wrote: | this is what will happen to your teen if you let her party
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That's funny! The silly pictures girls take.
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