I know mostly all guys love being a 'player' and having all these girls to mess around with.But don't you guys ever feel lonely? Don't you ever feel the need to have that special someone to love and care about? To talk about your feelings with?
WOuld you guys rather be a player for life or find that special girl to spend your time with. Be happy and make her happy too? Or is being a 'player' really all you guys want?
818zGaTeKeEpEr Supreme Member
Joined: 01 Sep 2008 Posts: 389 Location: 818
Posted Sat Oct 04, 2008
refer to "just my thoughts" in the general section. exactly how i feel
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Ridiculousaurus Member
Joined: 02 Oct 2008 Posts: 117 Location: Glendale, CA
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
I was 15 when my emotional side became more important than my physical desires; I was infatuated with this girl in highschool because of her physical beauty -- but found myself day dreaming about holding her hand, rather than something more carnal. I didn't know what to call it other than just really liking her, but I later realized it was my emotional side yearning for satisfaction; reciprocated affection, not sexual favors.
I'm also not a skirt chaser, nor do I rarely do anything physical with girls "just to do it" like a lot of guys would encourage. I'm somewhat of an oddball, but most guys hit a similar point in their life where they realize they want something more than just physical satisfaction. It's about emotional maturity, and for most guys it's a slow process. I however think it's a bit melodramatic to suggest they'd want to be a player for life -- I think it's fair to say everyone (with a few exceptions I'm sure) eventually wants to settle down.
Yes, it is lonely -- but for us guys that actually try to be real, we tend to be met with the same bullshit girls throw at guys to get rid of the idiot skirt chasers; this girl I met when I first moved down here (Armenian, that probably played a factor as well) seemed so caught off guard by my genuineness, honesty and my confidence in not hiding how I felt (which was that I enjoyed being around her) -- which apparently made her think I was head over heels for her, when in reality all I wanted was to get to know her to see if she was worth my time as a friend...or more. Instead, we both got nothing.
I have good friends though who I can share my feelings and thoughts with; talk to when I need someone to listen, and all that good stuff.
I hooked up with this girl (just kissing) when I first moved down to LA, and it was actually the first time I did anything with a girl completely sober outside of a party. I'll never forget the moment afterward where we had stopped kissing, stopped talking and were just holding each other. I don't go for anything with a girl unless there's undeniable chemistry, which has resulted in me not having found a worthwhile girl to be my girlfriend... so I'm not too familiar with moments like those -- but most of us guys (while most are too emotionally insecure to admit it) crave them, sooner or later. We're not all players.
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HyeMaintenance Member
Joined: 04 Sep 2008 Posts: 157
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
Ridiculousaurus wrote:
I was 15 when my emotional side became more important than my physical desires; I was infatuated with this girl in highschool because of her physical beauty -- but found myself day dreaming about holding her hand, rather than something more carnal. I didn't know what to call it other than just really liking her, but I later realized it was my emotional side yearning for satisfaction; reciprocated affection, not sexual favors.
I'm also not a skirt chaser, nor do I rarely do anything physical with girls "just to do it" like a lot of guys would encourage. I'm somewhat of an oddball, but most guys hit a similar point in their life where they realize they want something more than just physical satisfaction. It's about emotional maturity, and for most guys it's a slow process. I however think it's a bit melodramatic to suggest they'd want to be a player for life -- I think it's fair to say everyone (with a few exceptions I'm sure) eventually wants to settle down.
Yes, it is lonely -- but for us guys that actually try to be real, we tend to be met with the same bullshit girls throw at guys to get rid of the idiot skirt chasers; this girl I met when I first moved down here (Armenian, that probably played a factor as well) seemed so caught off guard by my genuineness, honesty and my confidence in not hiding how I felt (which was that I enjoyed being around her) -- which apparently made her think I was head over heels for her, when in reality all I wanted was to get to know her to see if she was worth my time as a friend...or more. Instead, we both got nothing.
I have good friends though who I can share my feelings and thoughts with; talk to when I need someone to listen, and all that good stuff.
I hooked up with this girl (just kissing) when I first moved down to LA, and it was actually the first time I did anything with a girl completely sober outside of a party. I'll never forget the moment afterward where we had stopped kissing, stopped talking and were just holding each other. I don't go for anything with a girl unless there's undeniable chemistry, which has resulted in me not having found a worthwhile girl to be my girlfriend... so I'm not too familiar with moments like those -- but most of us guys (while most are too emotionally insecure to admit it) crave them, sooner or later. We're not all players.
congrads most guys get the emotional needs when they hit about 24, 25
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Ridiculousaurus Member
Joined: 02 Oct 2008 Posts: 117 Location: Glendale, CA
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
I'm 21 now -- I don't know if congratulations are in order... do you know how hard it is finding girls my age on the same page? Girls are just as emotionally immature as guys, in just a different way.
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lilyy277 Member
Joined: 01 Oct 2008 Posts: 64
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
[quote="Ridiculousaurus"]I'm 21 now -- I don't know if congratulations are in order... do you know how hard it is finding girls my age on the same page? Girls are just as emotionally immature as guys, in just a different way. [/quote]
please explain yourself...in what way are they just as immature?
HyeMaintenance Member
Joined: 04 Sep 2008 Posts: 157
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
Ridiculousaurus wrote:
I'm 21 now -- I don't know if congratulations are in order... do you know how hard it is finding girls my age on the same page? Girls are just as emotionally immature as guys, in just a different way.
not really, its actually the oppisite, girls mature faster and are definetly in tact with there emotions sooner than guys are
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Ridiculousaurus Member
Joined: 02 Oct 2008 Posts: 117 Location: Glendale, CA
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
Don't get defensive Girls are more emotionally in touch, but that doesn't imply a greater emotional mastery; on average I would agree girls are emotionally more in touch, and do mature faster than guys...
That doesn't change the fact that most girls between 18-22 are emotionally immature; it also doesn't preclude them from being more mature than most guys their age either. We're both right!
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HyeMaintenance Member
Joined: 04 Sep 2008 Posts: 157
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
Ridiculousaurus wrote:
Don't get defensive Girls are more emotionally in touch, but that doesn't imply a greater emotional mastery; on average I would agree girls are emotionally more in touch, and do mature faster than guys...
That doesn't change the fact that most girls between 18-22 are emotionally immature; it also doesn't preclude them from being more mature than most guys their age either. We're both right!
Yah i guess, well it all depends on the person and the situations he or she has bin in
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Ridiculousaurus Member
Joined: 02 Oct 2008 Posts: 117 Location: Glendale, CA
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
HyeMaintenance wrote:
Yah i guess, well it all depends on the person and the situations he or she has bin in
I agree, it is most certainly a per-individual basis.
lilyy277 wrote:
please explain yourself...in what way are they just as immature?
I define emotional immature as an inability to understand, control and indulge emotions in a healthy way. This inept emotional navigation leads to not knowing what you want, or how to understand other people's emotions.
For example: Guys don't know what they want, and 9/10 are horrible at handling their girlfriend's emotional state.
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lilyy277 Member
Joined: 01 Oct 2008 Posts: 64
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
[quote="Ridiculousaurus"][quote="HyeMaintenance"]Yah i guess, well it all depends on the person and the situations he or she has bin in[/quote]
I agree, it is most certainly a per-individual basis.
[quote="lilyy277"]please explain yourself...in what way are they just as immature?[/quote]
I define emotional immature as an inability to understand, control and indulge emotions in a healthy way. This inept emotional navigation leads to not knowing what you want, or how to understand other people's emotions.
For example: Guys don't know what they want, and 9/10 are horrible at handling their girlfriend's emotional state.[/quote]
ohhh i agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! girls are schizo's these days!!!
and then they drive their boyfriends crazy because theyre so bad at handling their emotions..
talk about trying to take care of someone when you cant take care of yourself
HyeMaintenance Member
Joined: 04 Sep 2008 Posts: 157
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
Ridiculousaurus wrote:
HyeMaintenance wrote:
Yah i guess, well it all depends on the person and the situations he or she has bin in
I agree, it is most certainly a per-individual basis.
lilyy277 wrote:
please explain yourself...in what way are they just as immature?
I define emotional immature as an inability to understand, control and indulge emotions in a healthy way. This inept emotional navigation leads to not knowing what you want, or how to understand other people's emotions.
For example: Guys don't know what they want, and 9/10 are horrible at handling their girlfriend's emotional state.
okkkkayy so how are girls immature emotionally?
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Ridiculousaurus Member
Joined: 02 Oct 2008 Posts: 117 Location: Glendale, CA
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
Hmm, well you seem to want an example. So, I'll give you a two:
A girl overreacts to something, or starts drama to specifically feel the powerful emotions tied to the consequences... like gossiping, or bringing around a new boy to make another boy jealous.
Unhealthy indulgence to feel a certain way; getting with a guy who you know will treat you wrong, because he makes you feel a certain way in the moment.
Two examples that I consider due to an immature emotional system.
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HyeMaintenance Member
Joined: 04 Sep 2008 Posts: 157
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
Ridiculousaurus wrote:
Hmm, well you seem to want an example. So, I'll give you a two:
A girl overreacts to something, or starts drama to specifically feel the powerful emotions tied to the consequences... like gossiping, or bringing around a new boy to make another boy jealous.
Unhealthy indulgence to feel a certain way; getting with a guy who you know will treat you wrong, because he makes you feel a certain way in the moment.
Two examples that I consider due to an immature emotional system.
ok the first example i understand, but the secod one doesnt make sense, what does getting with a guy that treats you mad have to do with immaturety, its more like being attracted to bad boys rather than being immature
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Ridiculousaurus Member
Joined: 02 Oct 2008 Posts: 117 Location: Glendale, CA
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
Being attracted to bad boys is something I understand, but there is a difference -- I was thinking of a girl who was given a black eye and bruises by this guy...filed a restraining order, and got back with him. Emotional immaturity -- the inability to sort those feelings out. A bad boy is hot, and might act like a * sometimes... but he shouldn't hit you.
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HyeMaintenance Member
Joined: 04 Sep 2008 Posts: 157
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
Ridiculousaurus wrote:
Being attracted to bad boys is something I understand, but there is a difference -- I was thinking of a girl who was given a black eye and bruises by this guy...filed a restraining order, and got back with him. Emotional immaturity -- the inability to sort those feelings out. A bad boy is hot, and might act like a * sometimes... but he shouldn't hit you.
ok well thats called love not immaturety, to be emotionally immature she wouldn't know what love is, i get what you mean but your looking at it in the wrong point of view thats a pscyological emotion, where the girl is deep in love with a guy and from him beating her and making her seem worthless he makes a bond with her for the rest of her life, and in that bond the girl feels like shes obligated to mold herself into something the guy wants her to be and she dedicates her whole life to that, its like having a dead beat dad, the kid always tries to be a better child for his parents so they can be loved by them
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Ridiculousaurus Member
Joined: 02 Oct 2008 Posts: 117 Location: Glendale, CA
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
I agree with what you've said -- there is a line, and she may have crossed it into love. but, given the girl I'm thinking of -- she just has a lot of other emotional issues going on that I think are really at work here that relate closer to her emotional immaturity (and in this case, emotional damage)
Love is defined differently by everyone, but it is arguably an emotion itself. There does not preclude it from the being victim to emotional immaturity.
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Ridiculousaurus Member
Joined: 02 Oct 2008 Posts: 117 Location: Glendale, CA
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
I want to add, that the more powerful the emotion -- the more wild the repercussions of it being experienced by emotionally immature system; Just because it's love, doesn't validate it's express or indulgence.
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HyeMaintenance Member
Joined: 04 Sep 2008 Posts: 157
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
Ridiculousaurus wrote:
I want to add, that the more powerful the emotion -- the more wild the repercussions of it being experienced by emotionally immature system; Just because it's love, doesn't validate it's express or indulgence.
i didnt say it does, but to most people love can concure anything
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818zGaTeKeEpEr Supreme Member
Joined: 01 Sep 2008 Posts: 389 Location: 818
Posted Sun Oct 05, 2008
yo Ridi i didn't read everything u wrote, but it seems like u fold to quick on ur thoughts.
i could be wrong.
_________________ These are my gates. I control the flow through them.
Girls are more emotionally in touch, but that doesn't imply a greater emotional mastery; on average I would agree girls are emotionally more in touch, and do mature faster than guys...